Who hasn’t experienced the profound and often unsettling sensation of jealousy?
It can manifest in various ways a sudden ache in the pit of your stomach, the buckling of your knees, a chilling rush through your chest, or even an overwhelming racing heart. These physical responses can creep up on us at unexpected moments, often triggered by instances such as social interactions or comparisons on platforms like social media. Indeed, events like Valentine’s Day seem handcrafted to evoke feelings of insecurity, as we scroll through countless posts showcasing love and affection, often making us reflect on our own relationships.
Yet amid this emotional turmoil, many of us grapple with a sense of shame for experiencing jealousy.
It’s frequently categorized as a petty or trivial emotion, leading to the question: is jealousy inherently negative?
When we turn to resources like the American Psychological Association’s Dictionary of Psychology, jealousy is explicitly labeled as a negative emotion right at the beginning of its definition. This portrayal stands in contrast to emotions like anger or sadness, which are often discussed in a more neutral light, seen as integral parts of the human experience that convey important information about our circumstances and relationships.
Dr. Joli Hamilton, a psychologist and expert on the subject of jealousy, highlights this discrepancy during her recent conversation with CNN Chief Medical Correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta on the podcast “Chasing Life.” She points out that there is a prevailing bias that relegates jealousy to the “bad box,” pushing us to dismiss it as an undesirable part of our emotional makeup.
However, as she emphasizes, when we delve deeper into the roots of jealousy, we uncover its potential protective qualities. Jealousy can serve as a signal, alerting us to our insecurities and areas of vulnerability within our relationships. By understanding jealousy in this context, we can begin to see it not just as a negative experience, but as a complex emotion that, when acknowledged and processed, can lead to personal growth and deeper insights into our desires and relationships.
